The BSSG Series - #3 of 20

When everything you do feels wrong—Don't shrink to fit. When you’re in a Black Sheep Situation, confidence can fade faster than you expect. You might be used to hearing that your work is strong, your ideas are valued, and your perspective adds something unique. Then suddenly, the same traits that once earned praise seem to draw criticism, or silence. You start to second-guess yourself. Was that comment really feedback, or a warning? Was that meeting quiet because your point missed the mark, or because no one wanted to acknowledge it?

That erosion of confidence is one of the hardest parts of not fitting in. But it doesn’t mean you’ve lost your abilities—it means you’re receiving mixed signals from an environment that no longer mirrors your value back to you. Step Two is about maintaining your confidence in the midst of that. It starts by separating feedback from fit. Not every comment is a reflection of your capability—sometimes it’s a reflection of someone else’s comfort zone.

Pause before internalizing every piece of feedback. Ask yourself:
- Does this align with the values I bring to my work?
- Is this about growth, or about conformity?
- If I changed this, would it make me better—or just quieter?

Staying confident doesn’t mean ignoring feedback; it means filtering it through self-trust. Because when you can hold onto your sense of worth, even in a place that doesn’t see it clearly, you’re no longer waiting for validation—you’re building your own foundation.

⭢ REFLECTION: Have you ever been in a situation where feedback made you doubt yourself? How did you regain your confidence?